Example of an Effective Letter

This post comprises an example of an effective business letter and the reasons it is effective.

Background

The following letter, which is in block format with mixed punctuation, is a response to a problem many readers likely have experienced: receipt of a past-due notice.  When a policy holder receives a past-due notice, he/she often will call or write the underwriter immediately, asking for an explanation.  Certainly the policy holder is afraid he/she will be without insurance only because the underwriter thinks the policy holder has not paid his/her premium.

From the underwriter's perspective, if the policy holder would wait, the firm likely would resolve the discrepancy.  If it did not receive the policy holder's payment, the firm sends a legal notice that serves as a third chance to pay the premium.  The firm is forced to cancel the policy if it does not receive payment after 30 days from the date on the original bill.

The letter is from a nonexistent insurance company, Free Insurance.

Example

Free Insurance

www.freeinsurance.org

One Premium Drive

Oklahoma City, OK 73112

(405) 866-4444

July 5, 2011

Mr. Stephen Tulloh

100 Maple Street

Columbia, SC 29205

Dear Mr. Tulloh:

You continue to have automobile insurance.

Free Insurance only mails a past-due notice if we have not processed a payment within three days after the date it was due.  Sometimes there is a delay in the delivery of a payment; less often a policy holder forgets to include his/her policy number or signature on a check.  When Free Insurance receives a check with all the necessary information, we promptly credit the account.

If Free Insurance does not receive a check within three days after the date the payment was due, the policy holder still has a 30-day grace period to pay the premium.  The policy holder receives a second notice informing him/her that we have not received a payment.  To keep his/her insurance operative, the policy holder only needs to stop payment on the first check and to send us another check.

Electronic maintenance of your account offers many benefits.  First, it guarantees immediate receipt of a payment.  Second, our well-trained agents can help you get any discounts (safe driver, good student, safety equipment, bundled policy, to list a few) for which you are eligible.  Third, you can make a claim electronically so that your agent can quickly and safely get you mobile again.  Fourth, you also will receive a check faster, usually within three weekdays.

During the current recession, your automobile, home and possessions are worth more.  You can protect them with a Free Insurance bundled policy.  Call John Doe at (803) 866-4444, and he will reveal how easy and affordable it is to be completely protected.  If you only want to insure a mobile device, a valuable collection, or a fine antique, John will help you do that, for his job is to serve you.

Whatever your insurance needs may be, Free Insurance will help you personally and personably.

Sincerely,

Jane Doe

Director, Customer Services

Explanation

What makes it an effective letter?  It opens with a positive statement that assures the reader.  The explanation of Free Insurance's policy is in the second paragraph.  The company does not assign blame, and the paragraph ends somewhat positively.  The writer positively presents the negative information in the third paragraph.  The second notice is not a threat; it is an announcement of a 30-day extension.  Because the writer suggests a way to resolve the problem, there is no need for further correspondence.  The writer, in the fourth paragraph, proposes another way to resolve the problem, presents additional benefits of computers, and includes some benefits of continual coverage by Free Insurance.  In the penultimate paragraph, the writer softly sells other policies the firm offers and prepares the reader for the close. 

Business Letters

When you write letters to people outside your organization, you will need to choose among three formats--block, modified block, and simplified--unless your organization has a standard format.  The following table reveals some of the differences among the three formats.

                                                 Block                   Modified Block                 Simplified
Spacing after letterhead            2 to 6 spaces        2 to 6 spaces                    2 to 4 spaces
Date and signature                   Left margin           1/2" to 2/3" from              Left margin
                                                                                left margin
Salutation and close                  Yes                       Yes                                    No
Subject line                               Optional               No                                    Yes
Paragraphic indentations           No                       Optional                           No        
Paragraphic spacing                  Single space         Single space                       Single space
                                                    between               between                            between
Lists                                          Indent                  Indent                               Left margin     

Your company may require you to use letterhead, stationary imprinted with the organization's name, logo, and contactual information.  If a letter is longer than one page, use letterhead only for the first page.  Use a heading--reader's name, the date, and page number--on each page after the first.

If the letterhead extends all the way across the top of the page, set your margins even with the ends of the letterhead.  Otherwise, your left margin should be from 1 inch to 1-1/2 inches wide, and your right margin should be from 5/8 of an inch to 1 inch wide.

Some companies use envelopes with windows so that the inside address (the reader's name and address) on the letter is visible for delivery.  If your organization uses such, adjust your margins so that the entire inside address is visible.

Use the same level of formality in the salutation, or greeting, as you would when speaking to somebody via phone: Dear John if you know the reader well and Dear Mr. Smith if you do not know the reader well enough to use his/her first name.  If you do not know the reader's name, omit the salutation.  However, readers like to see their names.  Writers who use the simplified format, which omits the reader's name in the salutation, frequently use the reader's name in the first paragraph.

With mixed punctuation, which is traditional, a colon follows the salutation, and a comma follows the close.  With open punctuation, which is becoming standard in electronic mail, omit all punctuation after the salutation and the close.  Sincerely and Yours truly are standard complimentary closes.  An informal close--Cordially, Thank you, Ciao--is acceptable when you are writing to a friend, to a business acquaintance, or to people in special groups.

Subject lines are optional in letters.  If you create one, ensure it is specific, concise and relative.  A good subject line will reveal the essence of the letter, will be short, and will correlate to the purpose and content of the letter.  If you do not want to include a subject line, create a reference line that refers either to the number--an account, for example--in previous correspondence or to the number--an order or invoice--on which the letter focuses.  (For more information on subject lines, please refer to the post "Electronic Mail.")

With respect to the body of a positive or neutral letter, in the first paragraph state any good news and summarize the primary points.  Include the date a policy begins, the percent of a discount, et cetera.  If the message is a response to an issue, reveal that it is such.

Next, provide details.  Do not repeat information that you have stated; rather, answer any questions the reader is likely to have.  Present details in the order of importance to the reader.  If there is any negative information, present it as positively as possible.  A policy may have limits; information may be incomplete; the reader may need to satisfy requirements.  Clarify such negatives, presenting them as positively as possible.

Letters to customers or potential customers sometimes include a sales paragraph promoting products or services the organization offers in addition to the product or service about which the reader asked.  Such promotions should be soft, not aggressive.

Not all letters require reader benefits.  Include reader benefits when you are presenting policies, when you want to shape the reader's attitude, or when the benefits may not be obvious to the reader.  When you present reader benefits, clearly state the advantages to the reader.  (For more information on reader benefits, please refer to the post "Reader Benefits.")

Tactfully concluding a letter can be problematic if it is short.  You can tell your reader what specific action you want him/her to take; you can compliment the reader for an action he/she took; you can describe a reader benefit; you can look forward to something positive that relates to the subject of the letter.  If you have omitted backing (grounds in detail), you can state where your reader can find more information.  If you have provided all the information your reader requires, you can write a goodwill ending that refers directly to the reader or to the reader's organization.

A goodwill ending should focus on the professional, not personal, relationship you have with the reader.  An effective ending specifically refers to the reader to the extent it would not correlate to someone else or to another person with the same title in another organization.  If you are writing to an individual in another organization, the ultimate paragraph can refer to your organization's relationship with the reader's organization.  When you are writing to a group, your ending should apply to the entire group.

With respect to a negative letter, tone (the implied attitude of the author toward the subject and the reader) is especially important.  Carefully edit your letter for positive emphasis and you-attitude.  The timing of a letter can convey tone.  An immediate response will suggest that the rejection did not receive much consideration; a negative letter immediately before a holiday will seem harsh.  When you need to relate negative information, consider recasting it as a positive or neutral message.  For example, if your organization has a problem, ask the reader(s) to help solve it.  If the negative information will lead directly to a reader benefit, organize the information as you would in a positive or neutral message.  When there is a reason a reader will understand or accept, state the reason before the refusal.  A strong reason will prepare the reader to expect the refusal.  State the refusal or negative information only once and as clearly as possible.  The reader may miss an inconspicuous refusal, making it necessary for you to say no a second time.  Present an alternative if there is one.  An alternative not only will provide the reader another way to get what he/she wants, but it also will suggest you care about him/her, via helping the reader meet his/her needs.  Close with a positive, forward-looking statement.

A document that accompanies a letter is an enclosure.  Whatever it may be--a note, a report--ensure that you refer to it in the body of the letter.  The enclosure line, which is after the writer's typed name, reminds the person who seals the letter to include the enclosure.  Use the abbreviation Encl. before the description or title of the document(s).

If you are sending copies of your letter to other people and you want to signal such to the primary reader, list their names after your typed name.  The abbreviation cc means computer copy, and the abbreviation c means copy.  If you are sending copies of your letter to other people and you do not want to signal such to the primary reader, do not list their names.  Such copies are blind copies.  List the names of the other people, with the abbreviation bc preceding the names, only on the copy you will file.

Reader Benefits

What are reader benefits, and how does one create them?  This essay answers those questions. 

Introduction 

Reader benefits are the advantages your audience will receive by using your service, purchasing your product, following a policy, or adopting an idea.  Good reader benefits meet four criteria, and each criterion suggests a way to create reader benefits. 

Criteria 

First, adapt the benefits to the audience.  When you write to different audiences, you will need to stress different benefits.  For example, suppose your company manufactures a product, and you want to persuade retailers to stock it.  The advantages to customers--convenience, durability, price--will not persuade retailers to stock it.  To persuade them to do such, you need to stress the advantages to the retailers: quick turnover, high profit margin, and a national advertising campaign that will draw attention to the product and to the stores.

Second, stress the extrinsic and intrinsic benefits.  Extrinsic benefits do not come from the service or product; somebody decides to add them to the service or product.  Intrinsic benefits come directly from using the service or product, and they are better than extrinsic benefits for several reasons.  There will never be enough extrinsic motivators for everything you want people to do.  You will not be able to reward every customer or employee.  Furthermore, research suggests that extrinsic motivators make people less satisfied with the products they purchase and the procedures they follow.

Third, regard each benefit as a claim that needs grounds (reasons and/or evidence) to convince the reader.  (Refer to "The Components of an Academic Argument.")  Provide enough grounds to prove that the service, product or policy will benefit the reader.  Always provide enough details to be concrete.  You will need many details when the reader may not have thought about the benefit before, when there is a difference between a long-term and a short-term advantage, and when it will be difficult to persuade the reader.

Fourth, create reader benefits with a you-attitude.  A you-attitude regards things from the reader's point of view--emphasizing what the reader wants to know, respecting the reader's intelligence, and protecting the reader's ego.  Use you in positive and neutral messages, but avoid you in negative messages.  In negative messages you may seem like a verbal attack. 

Creating Benefits

Use the following steps to identify effective reader benefits.  Then, choose the benefits you think are the most effective and explainable and develop them.

First, identify the physiological needs that may motivate your reader.  Physical needs are the most basic, followed by needs for safety and security, for love and a sense of belonging, for esteem and recognition, and finally for self-actualization or self-fulfillment.  (The needs are hierarchical.)  Although we move among higher- and lower-level needs, low-level (basic) needs take precedent over high-level needs.  Often a service, product or policy can meet needs on several levels.  Develop those that are most relevant to your audience.

Second, identify the features of your service, product or policy that meet the needs you identified.  Sometimes it will be obvious which features meet a need.  Sometimes several features will meet a need.  To develop your benefits, focus on the details of each one.  When you are writing to clients or customers about features that are not unique to your organization, present the benefits of the features themselves and the benefits of dealing with your organization. 

Third, reveal the ways the reader can meet his or her needs with the features of the service or product.  Because features alone rarely motivate readers, link each feature to the reader's needs, providing details to make the benefits concrete. 

Conclusion

The audience of most of your business and technical messages will not be a single person.  When it is not possible to meet everybody's needs, meet the needs of the gatekeepers (those who decide whether your message will be sent to others) and decision makers first.

Provide a summary for those who will want only the primary points.  If the decision makers will not need the same details as others will need, provide those details in appendices.  Insert a glossary of terms for readers who will not have as much knowledge as the decision makers, and, early in the document, state where the glossary is.  Create a table of contents and effective headings, so readers can go to the sections that interest them.  If both internal and external audiences will read your document, use a more formal style than you would in an internal document.  Avoid personal pronouns, especially you, for it is not applicable to several different audiences.

Electronic Mail

In this essay I delineate three groups of e-mail (positive, neutral, negative) and the essential components of each.

Electronic mail (e-mail or email) is now a standard form of communication, used for informal and formal communication inside and outside organizations.  If you compose an e-mail using an organization's computer, you need to realize it is the permanent property of the organization.  In other words, do not assume privacy.

Subject Line

The most important part of an e-mail is the subject line.  Assume that recipients of e-mail have too many messages to read during one sitting.  If they do not recognize the sender or if the subject does not interest them, they will not open those messages.

An effective subject line acts as a title and aids in filing and retrieving.  Thus, it must be specific, concise and relative.  The subject line needs to be specific to differentiate the message from others with the same subject.  At the same time, it must be broad enough to reveal the essence of the entire message.  With respect to conciseness, effective subject lines are short--usually containing no more than 10 words, often only 3 to 7 words.  Because the subject line introduces a reader to the message, it must not mislead him/her.  The subject line needs to correlate to the purpose and content of the e-mail.  With respect to purpose, determine whether you are conveying positive, neutral or negative information; with respect to content, restrict your e-mail to a single topic.

The best subject line for negative messages depends on whether you are refusing a request or initiating a negative.  When you are refusing a request, click reply and use Re: and the original subject line.  (When you reply to a message, the system automatically creates a subject line: Re: and the subject line of the message to which you are responding.  Use the subject line if it is acceptable; otherwise, create a better subject line.  If you are the recipient of a series of replies, create a new subject line.  Re: Re: Re: and the original subject line is not effective.)  When you initiate a negative, you will need to decide whether to reveal the negative information in the subject line.  Reveal negative information in the subject line when it is serious, when the reader will need to decide or to act, or when you need to report an error you made. 

Positive and Neutral Messages 

In the first paragraph state any good news and summarize the primary points.  Include the date a policy begins, the percent of a discount, et cetera.  If the message is a response to an issue, reveal that it is such.

Next, provide details.  Do not repeat information that you have stated; rather, answer any questions the reader is likely to have.  Present details in the order of importance to the reader.  If there is any negative information, present it as positively as possible.  A policy may have limits; information may be incomplete; the reader may need to satisfy requirements.  Clarify such negatives, presenting them as positively as possible.

Messages to customers or potential customers sometimes include a sales paragraph promoting products or services the organization offers in addition to the product or service about which the reader asked.  Such promotions should be soft, not aggressive.

Not all messages require reader benefits.  Include reader benefits when you are presenting policies, when you want to shape the reader's attitude, or when the benefits may not be obvious to the reader.  Reader benefits are difficult to create when you are announcing a policy that the organization adopted to help it.  Those who made the decision may not have been thinking whether the policy would help or hurt their employees.  Furthermore, although many new policies help the organization in some way, few employees will regard their own interests as identical with the organization's interests.  The organization may save money or increase its profits, but employees will benefit directly only if they own stock in the company, if they receive bonuses, if the company is able to avoid layoffs, or if the savings goes directly to the employees' benefits.  The savings an organization accrues often goes to executive bonuses, shareholder profits, or research and development.

The reader needs to understand the reason(s) for the change to support it.  When you present reader benefits, clearly state the advantages to the reader.  Think about benefits that are a result from the policy itself, separate from any financial benefits.

Tactfully concluding an e-mail can be problematic if it is short.  You can tell your reader what specific action you want him/her to take; you can compliment the reader for an action he/she took; you can describe a reader benefit; you can look forward to something positive that relates to the subject of the message.  If you have omitted backing (grounds in detail), you can state where your reader can find more information.  If you have provided all the information your reader requires, you can write a goodwill ending that refers directly to the reader or to the reader's organization.

A goodwill ending should focus on the professional, not personal, relationship you have with the reader.  An effective ending specifically refers to the reader to the extent it would not correlate to someone else or to another person with the same title in another organization.  If you are writing to an individual in another organization, the ultimate paragraph can refer to your organization's relationship with the reader's organization.  When you are writing to a group--all employees, for example--your ending should apply to the entire group. 

Negative Messages 

An e-mail is appropriate for a minor negative, not a major negative, which would require face-to-face interaction.  Never write or reply to an e-mail when you are angry.  If a message infuriates you, wait until you are calm to reply.  Remember that employers have the right to read all messages, and an e-mail, similar to other documents, can become a legal document.  When a negative e-mail is difficult to compose, create a draft offline so that you can receive feedback and revise it before you send the message.

Tone (the implied attitude of the author toward the subject and the reader) is especially important in negative messages.  Carefully edit your e-mail for positive emphasis and you-attitude.  The timing of an e-mail can convey tone.  An immediate response will suggest that the rejection did not receive much consideration; a negative e-mail immediately before a holiday will seem harsh.  When you need to relate negative information, consider recasting it as a positive or neutral message.  For example, if your organization has a problem, ask the reader(s) to help solve it.  A solution created by employees will be easier to implement.  If the negative information will lead directly to a reader benefit, organize the information as you would in a positive or neutral message.

The way to organize a negative e-mail depends on whether you are writing to a person outside the organization, to a peer or subordinate, or to a superior.  When there is a reason a reader outside the organization will understand or accept, state the reason before the refusal.  A strong reason will prepare the reader to expect the refusal.  State the refusal or negative information only once and as clearly as possible.  The reader may miss an inconspicuous refusal, making it necessary for you to say no a second time.  Present as alternative if there is one.  An alternative not only will provide the reader another way to get what he/she wants, but it also will suggest you care about him/her, via helping the reader meet his/her needs.  Close with a positive, forward-looking statement.

When you must reveal negative information to a peer or subordinate, first, describe the problem, clearly and unemotionally stating what is wrong.  Second, present an alternative or a compromise if there is one.  Finally, ask for input or action.  Another employee may be able to suggest a solution, and if he/she does such, he/she will be more likely to accept the consequences.

Although your superior expects you to solve minor problems, sometimes you may not have the authority or resources to do such.  If that is the case, first, clearly and unemotionally state the problem.  Second, describe how it occurred, providing such background information as the underlying factors that led to the problem.  Third, discuss the options for solving it.  If one option is clearly the best one, state that you think it is such.  Your superior probably will judge the options differently; regardless, describe all of them, providing what you think are the advantages and disadvantages of each.  Fourth, recommend a solution and ask for action.  Asking for approval will allow you to make the necessary changes to solve the problem.

Do You Want to Write a Screenplay?

Every year more than 40,000 screenplays are registered with the Writers Guild of America.  Only 1 out of 100 screenplays are sold; fewer than 1 out of 13 screenplays are made.  The following tips may help you overcome those odds.

First, know how to write.  Because the first reader of your work will look for any reason to reject it and to move to the next screenplay in his/her large pile, if you write well, the reader may place your work with those under deliberation.  Writing well is more than spelling words correctly and using grammar and mechanics properly; writing well includes creating emotive characters, an engrossing dialogue, and a sound plot.

Second, analyze movies and screenplays.  You do not need to enroll in a film school to write a screenplay, but you do need to know the elements of a successful one.  Analyze movies that received critical acclaim--dividing each into scenes, describing the characters, and outlining the plots.  Divide your favorite movies into five- or ten-minute segments to study action and pace.  The protagonist should intrigue you soon after the opening scene.  Ten minutes into Tootsie (1982), we realize that Dustin Hoffman's Michael Dorsey is an ambitious but difficult New York actor.  The rising action should be clear to you within 20 minutes.  In Groundhog Day (1993), Bill Murray's Phil Connors wakes at 6 a.m. on February 2 for the second time.  Be attentive to details.  In Chinatown (1974), a drama about corruption in Los Angeles' water department, the director, Roman Polanski, included the sound of dripping or rushing water in almost every scene.

Public libraries, film schools, screenwriters' websites, and the Writers Guild have screenplays, especially of popular movies.  Actively read as many as you can--focusing on characters, dialogue, plot and format.

Third, format your screenplay in accordance with Hollywood standards.  Purchase software to help you standardize your work, preventing hours of frustration.  Use it to create margins, headers, capitalizations and indentations.

Fourth, captivate your reader early.  Studios, producers, directors, agents, managers, and some actors employ readers to critique screenplays so that only the best reach important desks.  Most readers will decide within the first 10 pages whether or not a screenplay is acceptable.  It is the only way they are able to critique their piles of 10 to 20 screenplays every night.  Because he/she is the first--and thus most important--gatekeeper your screenplay must impress, you must gain the reader's attention early so that he/she continues to turn the pages.

Fifth, limit the length of your screenplay from 100 to 120 pages.  The first thing a reader will do is turn to the last page of your screenplay to see how long it is.  Try not to evoke a premature groan from the reader.  Furthermore, theater owners prefer two-hour movies that they can screen six times per day rather than four times.  Each page of your screenplay will equate to a minute of dramatic time.

Sixth, register your work.  Protect your unique intellectual property by filing for a copyright and by registering your work with the Writers Guild of America.  Do such after you complete your first draft.

Seventh, know the market.  Finishing your screenplay is only half the battle, and it is the easiest half because it is the part most within your control.  It is important to know who is buying what and who is producing what.  Most studios and production companies will not read your screenplay unless a reputable agent, manager or attorney submits it.  Smaller companies may read it if they deal in the genre.  To ensure you are not sending your tragedy to a producer of comedies, peruse the most recent versions of industry registers.

Eighth, create a network.  The majority of business in Hollywood is conducted via networks.  But if you are not living in Los Angeles, you can make helpful contacts by submitting your work to reputable screenwriting competitions, joining a local screenwriters' association, and attending conferences.  There are publications and websites that list contests and their submission requirements.  Many large cities have local screenwriters' associations that host guest speakers from Hollywood, and some of those cities have film festivals with lectures open to the public.  You also may want to attend a conference.  Most offer panel discussions and seminars on a variety of topics.

Ninth, continue to write.  Rarely is a screenwriter's first screenplay produced.  Frequently it takes several screenplays before a screenwriter becomes proficient in characterization and plot development.  Most agents recommend that an inexperienced writer not seek representation until he/she has at least three complete screenplays to submit.  Thus, it is important to continue to write, generating as many works as you can.